The Connection Between Language and Emotions.
Language and emotions are deeply connected. It is not just a tool for communication but also a channel through which we express our most intense and authentic feelings. For those who are bilingual or multilingual, the choice of language in emotionally charged moments, such as an argument or fight, is often not accidental. In fact, many people who speak more than one language claim that they prefer to argue or express anger in their native tongue, and in many cases, in Spanish. Why does this happen? Below, we explore the reasons behind the connection between language and emotions.
1. The Mother Tongue and Emotional World
The language we grow up with, generally our mother tongue, is closely tied to our earliest emotional experiences. From a young age, we associate words and expressions with situations filled with affection, frustration, joy, and anger. Language becomes a natural extension of our emotions because we have learned to experience the world through it. For Spanish speakers, Spanish is not just a means to communicate thoughts but also to express the emotional intensity of each situation.
In an argument or fight, this primary language tends to surface because it feels more natural to express what we feel deeply. It’s not unusual for people who have spent much of their lives in an English-speaking country, for example, to revert to Spanish when they are upset, simply because the words flow more easily and with greater emotional intensity.
2. The Intensity and Expressive Richness of Spanish
Spanish, as a language, has a vast lexical and expressive richness that facilitates emotional communication. Spanish speakers have a wide array of words, idioms, and phrases that can convey nuances of emotions that are sometimes difficult to translate into other languages. Expressions like “me tienes hasta el cuello” (I’ve had it up to here), “no me vengas con cuentos” (don’t give me that), or “se me subió la sangre a la cabeza” (my blood is boiling) are examples of phrases that encapsulate complex emotions in a direct and powerful way.
Additionally, Spanish has a rhythm and cadence that can intensify emotional communication. The natural melody of the language, combined with the ability to play with tone, volume, and intonation, gives a Spanish argument a level of intensity that is sometimes hard to replicate in other languages.
3. Language as an Emotional Refuge
In moments of tension, it’s common to retreat to what is familiar as a form of self-preservation or comfort. Speaking in our mother tongue, especially in emotionally charged situations, allows us to find a space where we feel more control and understanding. This is particularly relevant in arguments, where the goal is not just to communicate what we think but also to release built-up frustration or anger.
For many Spanish speakers, Spanish serves as that emotional refuge. It’s the language in which we can express ourselves more authentically and without the limitations that may be imposed by other languages we’ve learned later in life.
4. Emotions and Language Automation
Emotional language, particularly in moments of rage or frustration, tends to be more impulsive and less filtered. When we argue, we don’t usually stop to think about the best way to articulate our words; we just blurt them out. And in this automatic action, the language we’ve internalized since childhood easily surfaces. For many bilingual or multilingual speakers, that language is Spanish, because it is more deeply embedded in their thought patterns and emotions.
5. Culture and Emotional Language
We cannot ignore the role of culture in emotional expression. In many Hispanic cultures, the open expression of emotions, both positive and negative, is socially accepted and even valued. Passionate arguments, intense discussions, and displays of anger are not always seen as negative but as a sign of honesty and authenticity. This cultural permissiveness may also influence why many people feel more comfortable arguing in Spanish, a language culturally associated with emotional expressiveness.
Conclusion
The relationship between language and emotions is powerful and complex. For many, Spanish is not just a medium for communication but a vehicle for expressing their deepest and most authentic feelings. In moments of tension or conflict, we tend to revert to what is familiar, to what allows us to best express what we feel. That’s why, when anger or frustration reaches its peak, it’s common for many people to prefer arguing in Spanish: the language that connects their mind to their heart, their intellect to their emotions.
